When I’m Ready to Tell My Story…
Rather than distancing ourselves from the danger in our childhood stories, like my friend, Bethany (See 8/17/2020 post) we may choose to rescue the little girl or boy in much the same way a brave bystander rushes into raging waters to save a drowning child.
Sure, there’s risk in this decision, but in doing so, we seize the opportunity to transform a potentially tragic tale. Telling a personal story benefits not only our destiny, but all those whose lives touch ours. Ultimately, legacies may be changed. Your story may help others with similar painful chapters.
Exposing to the light of truth a story that’s been hidden in dark recesses of our heart is the beginning of healing and liberation. The way in which we disclose, however, is critical and deserves careful consideration. That child in our story has the potential for enormous strength, but after being kept in the dark for so long, he/she is fragile and needs time and loving help to grow strong.
I’m not a mental health professional nor expert in childhood abuse, but I believe the following points deserve attention before disclosing a painful childhood story.
1. Listen to that voice inside that says, “Okay! Enough is enough!” - The following scripture refers to the children of Israel’s wandering in the wilderness, but the message is one worth remembering: “Today, please listen; don’t turn a deaf ear…” (Hebrews 3:7 & 8b MSG). Even if you need to use some stern self-talk, don’t allow your ‘big-girl’ voice to dismiss or minimize your ‘little-girl’ story.
2. Choose carefully to whom you disclose and how much you disclose. - Jesus told his friends: “Don’t give holy things to dogs, and don’t throw your pearls before pigs. Pigs will only trample on them, and dogs will turn to attack you.” (Matthew 7:6 NCV). Jesus’ metaphor reminds us we may assume a certain person can be trusted, but many victims have been betrayed by family, friends and even clergy, who were not equipped to deal with their story or even worse, were not trustworthy.
3. Pray for wisdom before disclosure! - I have never been disappointed when I’ve asked God for wisdom. James 1:5 is a verse I turn to repeatedly. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (NLT)
4. Trust the gracious, merciful, and loving ‘still small voice’ of God’s Spirit speaking to your spirit. - After you’ve asked God for wisdom, watch, and listen. If you feel an ‘interior nudge’ to trust, take a baby step. If you feel a ‘check in your spirit,’ hold off. A little motto that helps me decide is, ‘When in doubt, DON’T—at least not right now!’
In the next post, Bethany will tell some of the painful details of her story: ‘My Story’s Sadness – an Obstacle Too-big?’
If you are considering disclosing your story, I pray God gives you courage, compassionate companions, wise counselors, and clear direction…
