The Little Girl Inside our Story: Ready to Disclose
“When we…own our story, we gain access to our worthiness….When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don’t fit with who we think we’re supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving.”
The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene’ Brown
Embedded within every person’s story is the story of a little girl or boy. The voice of that child is powerful and can drown out the more mature and accurate voice of the grown-up that child becomes.
My friend, Bethany (a pseudonym), is one of the most resilient women I’ve met. Her ‘little girl’ story is filled with abuse and betrayal. It is a story with which she struggles periodically. But Bethany has determined to walk into her story rather than trying to outrun or ignore past pain and shame threatening to keep her from embracing the truth that she is lovable, significant, and worthwhile!
Bethany’s ‘Little-girl’ Story (Part 1):
For as long as I can remember, I have been interested in people’s stories. Everyone has one, and everyone’s story is unique. Some people experience more joy than sorrow. Some people endure more abuse than kindness. I used to think this was unfair.
But, as I’ve learned to embrace my story, I’ve realized if I allow the hard and unfair life experiences to shape me into who God created me to be, I can live a life filled with richness and joy—perhaps even more than if my childhood years had known more kindness and justice.
As much as I’ve always been interested in people’s stories, I’ve always had a desire to share my own. Maya Angelou said, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” Walking around with the burden of an untold story can turn a woman into someone she was never meant to be. So, as part of my healing, I’m going to share my story publicly for the first time.
Deciding to tell our ‘little-girl’ story requires careful consideration.
At church I kept hearing about the Grace of God. I had grown up with an angry God who couldn’t wait to punish me. Grace was hard for me to wrap my head around.
I can’t say there was one huge incident that made me seek help. I think I simply came to a place where I was so tired of who I was that I had to find a way to change. One night after I put my kids to bed, I decided I had finally had enough.
There was a woman at our church who always captivated me when she spoke. Her relationship with God seemed so real. When she talked about Him, it sounded like she was talking about a friend. I sent her an email that night asking if we could meet.
I didn’t even know what I was going to say. I was terrified. The day of our meeting, I was a mess. I thought about canceling so many times but staying stuck where I was seemed worse than finally being real with someone.
I ended up telling her everything! (To be continued. Part 2: Sad, Sad Pages of My Story)
May you be filled with grace and wisdom as you ponder your ‘little-girl’ story…
