Build a Bridge with Conjunctions!
During this season of Lent, life as usual has continued. Focusing on the “bright sadness” of Lent, however, has added a special dimension. (See previous post for explanation of “bright sadness”)
Since I was a child arriving home from the book mobile with a stack of books—the maximum a kid was allowed to check out—I have been a reader. Consistently, I am in the process of reading several different books simultaneously. For the past couple years, I’ve added audiobooks to my repertoire, which is especially helpful during walks or while traveling. Listening to a good book sure helps make l-o-n-g flights more tolerable!
For the past few weeks, my reading/listening has included a book on humility; another on Benedictine wisdom; a novel exploring spiritual formation; and the autobiographies of a disenfranchised Southern Baptist teacher and a famous Irish rock star.
A while back, an admirable Christian woman who didn’t agree with the direction my journey of faith was taking, said, “I know you love God, BUT …” In English grammar, the word “but” is a conjunction connecting different thoughts or phrases, and the way the conjunction was used by this well-meaning Christian was hurtful.
As I prayed about, pondered her words, and debated a rebuttal in my mind, the Spirit seemed to challenge me with my own use of the conjunctive word. What if, instead of using “BUT,” which often connotates disapproval and places a conversational partner into a defensiveness stance, I substituted the conjunction “AND?” For instance, what if this woman had said, “Sue, I’m not sure I understand or even agree with this direction you’re headed, “AND” I’d like to keep learning and talking more.”
The conjunctive change of “BUT” to “AND” can be beneficial. A woman with whom I was talking recently said, “I love my husband “BUT …” (By the way, this lady could make a convincing argument in completing this statement.) I asked her, “What if you re-phrased that sentence to: “I love my husband, “AND” I know God wants to expand my soul despite his disturbing behavior.” Suddenly, a difficult situation became an opportunity for exploration and growth. I am convinced this concerned wife’s openness to God’s voice will provide insights into her own struggles, “AND” who knows, perhaps it may even ignite new curiosity within her husband’s heart. I am praying for them both.
The season of Lent 2023 is reaching a conclusion. This Sunday, April 2nd, is Palm Sunday. As I often do during this segment of Lent, I began reading the section of John’s Gospel which focuses on Jesus’ last week on earth. On Monday, I read from John 12 and was particularly touched by the story beginning this chapter in which a woman exhibits a lavish gesture of devotion:
Then Mary took a twelve-ounce jar of expensive perfume made from essence of nard, and she anointed Jesus’ feet with it, wiping his feet with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance. (John 12:3 NLT)
While a plausible argument could be made against Mary’s extravagant behavior, Jesus replied,
“Leave her alone. She did this in preparation for my burial. You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me.” (John 12:7-8 NLT)
Prayer During Lent’s Conclusion
Jesus, I’m not sure why people view you and the truth of Scripture in such different ways, “BUT” help me make life-affirming connections, “AND” to always
Express gratitude that you see beyond obvious behaviors to the condition of every individual heart.
Please lead me in the direction of your love, “AND” conform my character more and more into a reflection of yours.
Remind me when I focus on what is wrong with another’s faith journey, “AND” to instead, meditate on what is RIGHT ABOUT YOU.
Help me build bridges with “AND’s” rather than construct walls with “BUT’s.”
Amen
Blessings on each of our journeys through this sacred season,