Advent - Week 2
Forgiving Yourself
Hope you won’t mind a moment of vulnerability in today’s post!
I don’t know if you’ve ever had this experience, but I suspect at least a few of you will say, “Oh yeah! I know exactly what she’s talking about.”
I was driving home after making a Costco run one recent Friday. Out of the blue, an incident from the past popped into my memory. The unpleasant thought was accompanied by the peace-robbing, complex, self-conscious emotions of embarrassment and shame.
Rather than allowing the thought and emotions to take root (which I can do so very easily), I chose a different response. I said a prayer, thanking God for loving me so well through the years, even when the under-developed awareness of younger-me led me to act in ways that now make me cringe or blush. I told God thanks for understanding my immature heart’s longings and for so patiently and gently guiding me onto better paths time after time.
Next, I told my younger self, “Hey, Sue, I forgive you.”
Later that same day, I opened an email from a group of Dominican sisters in Grand Rapid, Michigan. (See grdominicans.org if you’d like to receive their Daily Blessing) I love reading their encouraging words. Here is the message I received that Friday:
May God bless you when you are unable to forgive yourself. At such times may you look upon yourself with the eyes of God and learn self-compassion. May your mercy toward yourself be modeled on God's mercy toward you…undeserved yet given. With the eyes of God may you see yourself as limited yet loved unconditionally, bound by love yet freed to love and to proclaim God's goodness in and to all of creation. May the God of Self-Compassion bless you.
--Maxine Shonk, OP
My prayer today is that if you are having trouble forgiving yourself, you will experience the peace which comes with not only God’s forgiveness but also self-forgiveness.
Blessings on your journey!
